Once upon a time, I used to have this kinda-sorta fling with this really nice, cute guy who played football and knew how to play saxophone and was all sorts of great. And we flirted for a while, and I had never had a boyfriend before, so it was really exciting. And then we went on our first date, and it was so ~magical~ and we held hands in the theatre and he kissed me at the end, but I was shy so I got really freaked out and then we parted.
And then he kind of just stopped talking to me.
the end
it just dawned upon me that i’m not okay anymore
i think i’m going back to where i used to be, sort of spiraling back down into that place
i keep telling myself that i’m just being overdramatic and ridiculous and i want attention, but maybe thats not it, maybe i really do need to be on medication again
because at this rate i dont know where i’m gonna end up
Cheiloproclitic - Being attracted to someones lips. Quidnunc - One who always has to know what is going on. Ultracrepidarian - Of one who speaks or offers opinions on matters beyond their knowledge. Apodyopis - The act of mentally undressing someone. Gymnophoria - The sensation that someone is mentally undressing you. Tarantism - The urge to overcome melancholy by dancing. Autolatry - The worship of one’s self. Cagamosis - An unhappy marriage. Gargalesthesia - The sensation caused my tickling. Capernoited - Slightly intoxicated or tipsy. Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain. Cataglottism - Kissing with tongue. Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss. Brontide - The low rumbling of distant thunder. Grapholagnia - The urge to stare at obscene pictures. Agelast - A person who never laughs. Wanweird - An unhappy fate. Dystopia - Am imaginary place of total misery. A metaphor for hell. Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground. Anagapesis - The feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did. Malapert - Clever in manners of speech. Duende - Unusual power to attract or charm. Concilliabule - A secret meeting of people who are hatching a plot. Strikhedonia - The pleasure of being able to say “to hell with it”. Lygerastia - The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out. Ayurnamat - The philosophy that there is no point in worrying about events that cannot be changed. Sphallolalia - Flirtatious talk that leads no where. Baisemain - A kiss on the hand. Druxy - Something which looks good on the outside, but is actually rotten inside. Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.
Druxy.
No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.
day 14: write about something you believe in, anything at all
Hmm…there’s not much I believe in (after all, I am a sad little Atheist).
I believe that no one person is ever completely honest. Name one person who has never told a lie, or avoided telling the truth, or hasn’t done anything “sinful” or “immoral.” Really. Do it. I don’t think you will find one person on this earth who is honest throughout.
It’s kind of a sad thing to believe in, but at least I’m being honest with myself in acknowledging it.
day 13: your favorite quote
“Decadence comes from the latin word cadere, which means to fall. It is the beautiful way to fall. It’s a very slow movement which has lots of beauty. It can be a kind of self killing in a beautiful way, a tragic way.”
—Viktor Wynd
OR
“Rose of all roses! Rose of all the World! You, too, have come where the dim tides are hurled; Upon the wharves of sorrow, and heard ring The bell that calls upon us; the sweet far thing.”
—WB Yeats
OR
“You will die and it will all be over. You will die and find out everything—or cease acting.”
—Leo Tolstoy,War and Peace
Jesse Pinkman - I’ve Lost Who I Am
I don’t even like fanvids that much, but this is so absolutely perfect and beautiful and amazing and just fantastic and I love Jesse so much :’(
